Why do I want to hurt others?

K

Kiliara

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Nov 1, 2010
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#1
I don't know if this is the right section or not, let me know if I'm wrong. I just want to know what's wrong with me. I tried using google, but "why does hurting people make me happy" didn't come up with any results.
Since I was a little girl I would suddenly have a thought of hurting someone and it used to scare me. For example I'd suddenly think of stabbing my brother to death and was then terrified of going into the kitchen because I was afraid I would do it. I'm older now (20) and those thoughts that used to scare me are now comforting. I just want to hurt people for fun, out of curiosity, I like to see how they react to it and it makes me feel really good inside. It worries me though because I have a 5 month old baby and sometimes when she's nursing I wonder what she would do if I just pushed her face into me for a few seconds. I don't want to hurt her or anything, just making her cry makes me hurt in a way that feels good. It's so confusing though because it makes me feel bad and guilty, but relieved and happy at the same time. I used to do it to my cats when I was little (about 7 or 8). I'd spin them and throw them and hurt them then run away and run back to them so I can save them. I never told anyone that. I don't even know what to think of myself.
 
K

Kiliara

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Joined
Nov 1, 2010
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#2
No answers? Ok then, I thought this site might be helpful but I suppose it doesn't matter either way does it. Not like anyone is going to "e-fix" me. Thanks anyway.
 
T

tezhar

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#3
you know its wrong to feel like that....especially towards others......so you need to seek help.....before it becomes reality!! the fact u are looking for answers.....is a good start......keep going!!!
 
BORTU

BORTU

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#4
Hi,

This is a site that will give you an answer, just let us think about it. OK?
 
D

Diaphragm

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Oct 29, 2010
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#5
Hey,
It sounds like your sadistic, put that into google. I'm not sure it has much to do with personality disorder, being masochistic can be a PD trait, which I am slightly. Though Sadism and masochism is generally sexual, I think it can be otherwise though. Sadism just means enjoying pain (or maybe I'm just making up definitions here). Either way, I'd go and talk to a professional, like perhaps your GP if you're really worried.
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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#6
I have to say this. What you have said re. your baby is extremely concerning. If i knew where you were i would be phoning social services to protect your baby.
You sound very alike to my mother who abused me physically and emotionally. she used to enjoy torturin me, smiled and laughed. she was sadistic and cruel. she also always kicked my cat. If you have a consious please go and see a gp immediately.
 
T

tezhar

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#7
Hope you've done the right thing since posting this....u really shud........it's very disturbing.......:-(
 
RedRoseBeauty

RedRoseBeauty

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#8
Sorry I have only just seen this post!

I think you should seek professional help, you say that you never hurt your brother but you worried you would so avoided the kitchen
You hurt your cats because you thought about it and then did it.
To me this shows that even though you know it's wrong you will still act on these thoughts & the fact you're thinking of abusive things towards your child is worrying as you may one day act on these thoughts.
Or one day you may want to hurt yourself and it could be fatal if you act on it.
Just my personal opinion.
 
maxitab

maxitab

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#9
I know it gets bandied about, but are we looking at Von Munchhousen syndrome here.....I agree with other posters, you need to talk to a professional ASAP.
 
A

Apotheosis

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#10
Sorry I have only just seen this post!

I think you should seek professional help, you say that you never hurt your brother but you worried you would so avoided the kitchen
You hurt your cats because you thought about it and then did it.
To me this shows that even though you know it's wrong you will still act on these thoughts & the fact you're thinking of abusive things towards your child is worrying as you may one day act on these thoughts.
Or one day you may want to hurt yourself and it could be fatal if you act on it.
Just my personal opinion.
Apparently she's cured -

http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/fo...schizophrenic-with-MPD-depression-and-anxiety.

Post Number #5
 
maxitab

maxitab

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#11
Oh, well that's good to know! Ta.

Hang on, what about all the stuff about hurting the cats. Was that PPD?
 
maxitab

maxitab

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#13
Yes, so it cannot have been PPD - so what was it about, it sounded quite heavy duty to me........
 
F

flyingbluebird

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#16
the bit about being afraid of stabbing people sounds to me like classic OCD. OCD is one of my diagnoses and i suffered with the stabbing fear (although i had another mental illness which meant that i could be violent to myself and others so my fear perhaps wasn't so irrational) i don't know about the wanting to hurt people/animal bits. i have felt like that before with animals, which is weird, because i absolutely adore them and don't hate them or wish them harm. i have never told any of my mh workers about this symptom- they might want to section me.
 
K

kittiansmommy

New member
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Apr 11, 2012
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1
#17
Please

I don't know if this is the right section or not, let me know if I'm wrong. I just want to know what's wrong with me. I tried using google, but "why does hurting people make me happy" didn't come up with any results.
Since I was a little girl I would suddenly have a thought of hurting someone and it used to scare me. For example I'd suddenly think of stabbing my brother to death and was then terrified of going into the kitchen because I was afraid I would do it. I'm older now (20) and those thoughts that used to scare me are now comforting. I just want to hurt people for fun, out of curiosity, I like to see how they react to it and it makes me feel really good inside. It worries me though because I have a 5 month old baby and sometimes when she's nursing I wonder what she would do if I just pushed her face into me for a few seconds. I don't want to hurt her or anything, just making her cry makes me hurt in a way that feels good. It's so confusing though because it makes me feel bad and guilty, but relieved and happy at the same time. I used to do it to my cats when I was little (about 7 or 8). I'd spin them and throw them and hurt them then run away and run back to them so I can save them. I never told anyone that. I don't even know what to think of myself.
Please do not hurt your baby!! Do not do anything to hurt her! She needs you to protect her from people that want to hurt her. She's so harmless and little...I am also 20 and have a 2 month old so the thought of this really bothers me....so please do not harm your baby...please.
 
M

midnightshadows

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Apr 13, 2015
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london
#18
unsure

did you find the awnser to your question as i too like to hurt others difference is I love to hurt myself too
:shrug:
 
E

ElectraHeart

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Jun 7, 2015
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#19
You are literally my perfect person <3 I'm the exact opposite I want to be physically hurt
 
B

Babybluetox

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Jun 26, 2015
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#20
I don't know if your behaviour has anything to do with pd. maybe antisocial pd
 

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