What is BPD? A brief explanation:

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girard

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#21
One thing I have realized is that it is really hard being a single parent,yes its hard work,but its also hard to always do or say the right thing at the right time. I have always beaten myself up about this, I was my own worst enemy,trying to be the perfect mother and father,when I knew I couldnt be both ,but I still kept trying.
 
Punkzee

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#22
I was diagnosed in 2002 with BPD and this was poo pooed by my GP however I have been on various levels of Sertraline since 50mg to 200mg. I am going to see if I can have a proper diagnosis of my '\condition' as I don't think the way I function is right . I get fixated on things such as past episodes or an argument with someone and this is slowly destroying my life.

I was in the past promiscuous and have had a huge drink problem and now largly stay away from drink as this has ruined my life.

Do you know if obsessing over things is part of BPD?
Yes, obsessing or ruminating over certain problems/life events/situations seems to be common. What seems to happen is bpd sufferers often get badly affected by certain situations and they can't move past it. For example constantly talking about a strained relationship with a relative. Not being able to get past it... in my experience people who have struggled the most to improve with therapy,dbt etc are those who ge5 bogged down with pas5 events..
 
Punkzee

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#23
HI! i too have bpd and yes, i would absolutely say from my experience that i too 'obsess' at times over things. Such as, i am unsure why, but i tend to jump back about 3-4 years whenever i have mine get really bad, maybe this is a safe place? when i do, i start to obsess over things i did back then too.

I can also say that the 'impulsiveness' tend to lead me to obsessing too? Eg, i am a crafty person, i make things. My bpd leads me to opbsessively making something, to the point it is my ONLY focus, and i will dedicate every second to it, and i LOVE it, then the next day, bored, never to do again. Onto something else.

I guess what i am trying to say, is that if you find yourself being impulsive, or obsessing over something, and you find it is something you cant control, find a way to turn it into a positive. Eg, i decided to start an online store. I get to sell things, make money, dont have things lying around the house because i have given up, i just finish them, and sell them. The more impulsive, the more i thank my bpd, i will have more products.

Maybe these things "past episodes or an argument with someone" are a sign that something positive can come out of them? What is it about the past episodes that seem to loop? Is there a certain person, an animal, your favorite jumper? Something that is familiar with all of these loops? Maybe find what that is and use it as something to remind you of the happy part of it.


I think going over and covnversations in your head is a result of anxiety/worrying too much about what others think. If you can let go of that you will probably obsess less:)
 
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girard

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#24
I dont have BPD.but I have a very close relative who does.Not many doctors or therapists seem to know about BPD it is a very complicated illness.I bought a book "living with BPD" for my relative who wont read it ,he is too frightened of the label,and that it will make him feel worse, which is a shame because it will really help him.I bought another book called "Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder."a family guide for healing and change."This is a book to help the families understand and help the person who is suffering.Because we always seem to say or do the wrong thing and unintentionaly make things worse.I feel the more you know about BPD the better,for both the sufferer and the friend or family.So often the suffers are offered the wrong therapy,eg anger management etc ,(They can help to a certain extent.)I would say that all of us have some sort of personality disorder that we cant talk about,that we dont like in ourselves, even that we are ashamed of.We all have personalities,we all have weakneses and strengths. thats what makes us who we are.If we didnt have these feelings we woudnt be human.BPD is just an exageration of normal everyday things that happen to everyone,sometimes too much happens and we cant cope,we try to forget the painfull things that happend to us,and there is the problem.We try to forget, to bury these feelings.A lot of things happen to us when we are young,when we dont understand why we feel the way we do,so we try to ignore it,in the hope it will go away.Its too painful we dont want to remember.We dont talk about it , get angry scream cry, get it out of our system,at the time.So when we are older we cant help remembering and still feel the pain as if it were yesterday.There is something called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy,or Intensive Psychological Therapy,this is the best way foreward ,you have to ask for it,and the doctor will have to refer you to your local community mental health team.THey will assess just how bad you feel,No your not crazy,or anything else.You just need to get all this stuff out.To understand why you feel the way you do.I really hope this will help you help yourself.You are not alone.
,
 
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girard

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#25
yes it is.Drinking is self medicating.Have you finnished your therapy. ??? I feel that a lot of people with BPD think that nobody understands them,its true some do and some dont. But one thing is for sure you can get past this.You are a sensitive soul.
 
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girard

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#26
Fairy, I agree with you its really confusing.I dont think of BPD as an illness either, having strong emotions is not an illness.Only if they make you feel depressed anxious or unable to cope.Its very hard to say how you feel and why,if you could do that you wouldnt be ill.All the hormones we women have I find it surprising that most women dont suffer far more than they do.I feel that hormones play a bigger part in being unwell than is realized at the moment, I supposed that is something to be investigated in the future.
 
BorderlineDownunder

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#27
BPD is far far more than just having "strong emotions"...!

BPD is suggested to be renamed in the next DMV because it has such negative connotations.

EDD is suggested as the replacement = Emotional Dysregulation Disorder

Because that's what it is.

Take me for example.

I can literally be in the absolute depths of despair one minute, laughing like a loon within 30 seconds.

The tears aren't even dry.

Then im back to despair within a minute, laughing, despair

They call it Labile = changeable

Bipolar has a long cycle - sufferers will go into a days or weeks long mania.

BPD its minutes, sometimes for me seconds, at times.

I equate it to living in an Emotional Washing Machine. This way, that, this way, that

All day, every day, 24/7 for most of my 50 years now, absolutely flooded by strong uncontrollable emotion, usually negative, especially around self, all my gd life, utterly without control or warning or sometimes even Reason.

No wonder im exhausted!

Interestingly ive never self harmed so diagnosis was very slow coming.

It presented as intractable depression.

I also have binge eating disorder, substance abuse disorder, insomnia, somatic symptoms (theres a trip!) impulsivity, used to be promiscuous, black and white thinking, the works.

But my therapist now doesn't think im truly Borderline. I don't behave as extremely as borderlines behave - maybe ive just learnt to control the worst of it somehow.
 
Damaged Soul

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#29
hi BorderlineDownunder
I am a new member. I am from Ontario Canada. I currently live in Toronto but I have to move. Long crazy story. I am to unstable to work or rather working makes me unstable. I have a low tolerance to being used or abused at work yet I let my daughter walk all over me. But then again allot of guilt around her because I made her sick like me. Borderlines can't live together. That I am sure of. This next move will be the 20th time in my life I have had to start over. This time however will be the hardest. Rents are completely out of reach for me in the city. I will be homeless by end of March and frankly right now I am so ready to throw away everything I own and just get on a bus and keeping going until I end up in a ditch somewhere to die. I've live like this too long and no professional help has ever helped. Meds just make me more delusional and eventually sick from prolonged side effects or the meds just stop working. Opiates work though but of course they are illegal and painfully addictive. I am finished with all the drug abuse. Stopped all meds 2 months ago. O hell I don't know why I am unloading on you. Sorry but I just feel so hopeless and done for.
 
Damaged Soul

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#30
Very creative video, rap/writing. I did connect with some of it, but then again my creative side has been flooded with depression and my imagination just doesn't work in the positive. All my creativity is dark and full of self hatred. I want to die but have tired 1/2 dozen times to kill myself but I can't do it. So frustrating. My head is full of invasive thoughts. I think I am going mad, insane. Maybe insanity will allow to finally die. It's been just over 30 days without meds.
 
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Walrus32

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#31
have recently been given this diagnosis after 20 years of mental health problems, psychosis, depression, anxiety.
i can see a lot of myself in the diagnosis, the impulsivity, especially. But, am struggling with something someone said to me which was that we are manipulative. This has had a reall negative effect on me and lead me to look at all the stuff i have done in my life in a really negative way. I feel like i have manipulated everyone i have ever met, in some way or another. Really confussed and scared.
 
AliceinWonderland

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#32
It's horrible to be labeled manipulative, I know where you're coming from. Marsha Lineman, the well-known expert on BPD who developed DBT believes it's wrong to call people with BPD manipulative, it's more that expressions of pain are taken to be thought-out, intentional attempts to get particular reactions, when they're actually not:

Psychologist Marsha M. Linehan has stated that people with borderline personality disorder often exhibit behaviors which are not truly manipulative, but are erroneously interpreted as such.[10] According to her, these behaviors often appear as unthinking manifestations of intense pain, and are often not deliberate as to be considered truly manipulative. In the DSM-V, manipulation was removed as a defining characteristic of borderline personality disorder.

From Psychological manipulation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I agree with her, it's not actually manipulation in the true sense of the word. And I'm glad to see it's been dropped as a defining characteristic.

Does this make sense, I'm not sure how well I've explained what I mean. I hope this helps. Try not to be hard on yourself, you haven't manipulated everyone you've ever met. You are in pain and deserve compassion and understanding.
 
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Walrus32

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#33
yeah, makes sense. but still finding it hard to not think that way. Also its what other people tthink about what i done to others that i find hard. Don't think anyone wants to know me anymore, cause of the things i have done in the past.
 
AliceinWonderland

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#34
Yes I understand, it can still be hard not to think along those lines. I'm sorry it feels like no-one wants to know you, that sounds very lonely. Sometimes people give us more second chances than we expect them to, people sometimes surprise me with how they can be willing to put things behind them, and let bygones be bygones. Not always though of course. I think all we can really do is try and have compassion for ourselves for the things we have got wrong in the past, compassion because if we had not been experiencing painful emotions and symptoms we probably wouldn't have done them. As for other people, no they may not change their view of your actions, but if they are open-minded maybe they will one day see that there was pain behind the things that were done, rather than intent to cause harm or upset. But that is in their hands. So I guess trying to understand what led to certain behaviours is the best route to avoiding them happening again, and trying to believe that the future can be different. Are you getting any help or treatment?
 
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Walrus32

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#35
Yeah, Started seeing a psychologist. And on drugs, obviously! Got crisis team at the moment and CPN.
 
Jasmine-love

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#36
It's horrible to be labeled manipulative, I know where you're coming from. Marsha Lineman, the well-known expert on BPD who developed DBT believes it's wrong to call people with BPD manipulative, it's more that expressions of pain are taken to be thought-out, intentional attempts to get particular reactions, when they're actually not:

Psychologist Marsha M. Linehan has stated that people with borderline personality disorder often exhibit behaviors which are not truly manipulative, but are erroneously interpreted as such.[10] According to her, these behaviors often appear as unthinking manifestations of intense pain, and are often not deliberate as to be considered truly manipulative. In the DSM-V, manipulation was removed as a defining characteristic of borderline personality disorder.

From Psychological manipulation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I agree with her, it's not actually manipulation in the true sense of the word. And I'm glad to see it's been dropped as a defining characteristic.

Does this make sense, I'm not sure how well I've explained what I mean. I hope this helps. Try not to be hard on yourself, you haven't manipulated everyone you've ever met. You are in pain and deserve compassion and understanding.
This was very comforting to me. Thank you and thanks walrus for asking about it. I have been accused of this many times, I tell myself that if I was really being manipulative wouldn't I manipulate things so that my life is better; not worse!
 
SarahD

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#37
I would also say that the BPD diagnosis covers a wide range of traits and many people will have just a few. Take time to think carefully about it and don't assume since it is on the list you have it.
 
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Joshi

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#38
I like this post alot because it keeps a clear diffrence between certain 'types' of borderline and what i find myself is there to be degree's because i have found my balance but i have had borderline from a early age and will most likely have it my whole life. They say you will become more quit when your older but i am very hyper and almost 30 and not even the slitest change. Not ment bad but i am looking for peole that also have it for life have accepted it and found theire balance bevause i dony mind being lonely but the feeling of being one of your kind is rlly irritating.
 
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Dory

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#39
Hi guys,yeah,the manipulative trait in EUPD is,I believe blown out of proportion.everone has the ability to be manipulative, everyone.but it sticks to us like glue.as does the mind games,lies, attention seeking etc.when I was first diagnosed I thought my psychiatrist was making it up,never heard about it before then.im also diagnosed with bipolar... double whammy.lol
 
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whatisdis

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#40
Hello everyone,

I'm not quite sure thats how it works here but I dont know where else to post this.
The only reason I joined this website is because I might have some kind of disorder.
I dont know which one, I dont know anything really, i just know something is off? And that maybe you guys could help me figure stuff out?

I just turned 20, I am a female. If you think you could be of any help here or just wanna talk, I would be more than glad to share with you.

Good evening, hope this is going to work
 

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