- May 15, 2019
I was staying ta my bfs house for a few days and couldn't purge and whenever I'm home and by myself everything feels so much worse cause it's kind of built up a bit I guess. So once home I ate dinner and some snack and stuff and I think around 2 in the morning I was like "right now is the time" got up and purged. Went back to bed and went on my phone. I started to notice my feet felt weird, kind of like, if you lie on them too long they go kind of numb. So my feel started feeling weird and I was like "awright??" And then my breathing got heavier and I started to feel kind of light headed I guess?? (Tbh I don't know if it was feeling light headed it's never happened before) and I remember I kept looking about as if I didn't know what was going on (like if u can imagine losing Ur parent in a shop and Ur eyes are pure rolling around) . But in my head I was like "what the fuck lol am I dying" so I sat up and immediately felt worse I thought "I need to eat" so I went down stairs and made a milkshake and got an apple. I felt so completely dead, like I wasn't there. In my head I was panicking like "what's happening am I okay" but my body was moving so slowly and I just felt really strange and weird. It really wasn't normal and it's hard to describe or imagine I guess, like even now I know I haven't described it well enough but I don't know how to. Anyway, any one know what the fuck is going on with that, did I fucking die???? Was it an out of body experience?? Cause I know ED can make people feel really out of it or disassociate. But, this was like that but also a combo of retardation lol. Anyway please help idk what was wrong it's not happened before or ever again.
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