This is the end

daffy

daffy

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#22
Hi Louise hope your doing ok today. I’m another of the golden oldies at 66.
I’ve been ill since I was a child and first dx at 14. But I’ve had spells of wellness and I try to make the most of those times.

It can be very hard for partners to see their loved ones suffering. But you’ve come this far. You know this will pass eventually. If that means a spell in hospital so be it. Your family loves you and will be there to help you

Daf:hug:
 
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LouiseMN

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#23
"Ian, husband is not doing well." What is it that he is actually suffering from, Louise?
He is suffering from not being able to leave me alone because of my suicidal thoughts. He wants to have a life, doing trips with friends. I feel sorry for him., He feels sorry for himself, and both of us don't know what to do with me. It sucks around here.
 
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Ian Haines

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#24
He is suffering from not being able to leave me alone because of my suicidal thoughts. He wants to have a life, doing trips with friends. I feel sorry for him., He feels sorry for himself, and both of us don't know what to do with me. It sucks around here.
Cure him. Fix him. Be his healing. It's time for you to flex your friendly muscles and engage in gentle shoving.

Depression sufferers have, I think, "Anti-DO!" and "Anti-WANT!"

Non-depression sufferers have them, too. You sit there not wanting to get up and do it = Anti-WANT...a complete uninterest in getting something done. You'd even give everything you have to just......WANT TO do that thing (help husband, in this case). All the old drives and love will never be enough. This is a time to rediscover his mental and emotional HUSBANDNESS! But, he must do that for you, too, in WIFENESS.

Then, we suffer, in depression, Anti-DO! In that, we've achieved WANT by beating Anti-WANT! Now, we want, but we're suffering Anti-DO! No tablets, no therapies, no wise-butt guys like me on forums can help with the next phase. You must customise your new-look marriage.

Nature refuses us, flatly, the luxury of healing in a straight line...we're stuck with those ups and downs. Like a musician learns all about his instrument, you have to back and rediscover wishes and urges from the pasts of two people. Take up the instrument of marriage, all over again. Renew your vows, if you have to, but that, alone, is not enough. But, don't betray him by leaving this world...walk all over that world, with him, instead. When you prove to him that you're sticking around, you'll've done a wonderful thing! He's doing it for you!
 
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LouiseMN

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#25
Hi Louise hope your doing ok today. I’m another of the golden oldies at 66.
I’ve been ill since I was a child and first dx at 14. But I’ve had spells of wellness and I try to make the most of those times.

It can be very hard for partners to see their loved ones suffering. But you’ve come this far. You know this will pass eventually. If that means a spell in hospital so be it. Your family loves you and will be there to help you

Daf:hug:
Daffy, I feel bad turn you have had only spells of wellness, that is how I have been the last year. Just a short stint of wellness, a few weeks, then back down again. Each time worse than the one before. Not sure if I have BPD or MDD, I have been diagnosed with both. What's the difference, I have severe depression.

I feel like giving up, therapy may be too much work for an old lady. I hear you are given assignments, not sure what they are like. Has therapy helped you?

Ian sorry f or disappointing you. Sounds good but not up for it.
 
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Ian Haines

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#26
Age has no bearing on progress out of an undesired mental/emotional issue. Age is worthless in the equation, in fact. As long as you have a mind, you have cognition...the way in which you see the world, and the way with which you respond to, and act on, what you experience. While you're alive, therapy will work, but will fail if you don't force the therapy into place in your life with sufficient determination.

I'm not the one you're disappointing, remember?
 
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chris_m18

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#27
Hi Louise,
I am 19 and an EMT. The reason I am writing to you on this forum is to give you some insight. You may have years of wisdom over me, however, through the horrors of the calls I’ve been on, I would like you to hear it from someone else’s perspective. You are loved! I will say it again. You are loved! I have been diagnosed with PTSD recently after being dispatched to a suicide call. I have struggled for a month or so with flashbacks and waking up in cold sweats. To just watching tv and someone mentions suicide and have a borderline panic attack. I have seen a lot being an EMT, however suicides mess me up the worse. You are so loved by your family. Suicide is never the option and sometimes people think about it when they’re going through some stuff, however the pros of life far outweighs the cons. I always tell my patients who I transport for a psych evaluation they are loved. I demonstrate by holding their hand and try to find a silver lining. You are someone’s sunshine! You are the reason for many people to get out of bed and take on the day! Louise please if you ever have suicidal thoughts/actions talk to someone. You can even talk to me, it is not worth it by any means. I don’t personally know you but I love you
 
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LouiseMN

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#28
Age has no bearing on progress out of an undesired mental/emotional issue. Age is worthless in the equation, in fact. As long as you have a mind, you have cognition...the way in which you see the world, and the way with which you respond to, and act on, what you experience. While you're alive, therapy will work, but will fail if you don't force the therapy into place in your life with sufficient determination.

I'm not the one you're disappointing, remember?
Agree.
 
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LouiseMN

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Messages
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Minnesota
#29
Hi Louise,
I am 19 and an EMT. The reason I am writing to you on this forum is to give you some insight. You may have years of wisdom over me, however, through the horrors of the calls I’ve been on, I would like you to hear it from someone else’s perspective. You are loved! I will say it again. You are loved! I have been diagnosed with PTSD recently after being dispatched to a suicide call. I have struggled for a month or so with flashbacks and waking up in cold sweats. To just watching tv and someone mentions suicide and have a borderline panic attack. I have seen a lot being an EMT, however suicides mess me up the worse. You are so loved by your family. Suicide is never the option and sometimes people think about it when they’re going through some stuff, however the pros of life far outweighs the cons. I always tell my patients who I transport for a psych evaluation they are loved. I demonstrate by holding their hand and try to find a silver lining. You are someone’s sunshine! You are the reason for many people to get out of bed and take on the day! Louise please if you ever have suicidal thoughts/actions talk to someone. You can even talk to me, it is not worth it by any means. I don’t personally know you but I love you
How sweet, wish I could hold your hand! I really do feel like giving up though. My husband is stuck here with me, it is horrible for him.

Tomorrow I see my daughter, it is her white coat ceremony for pharmacy school. I have to make it and fake it somehow. Doing that should help? I know she loves me but my husband not so much right now. I have a son too. And a daughter in law and son in law. I am so embarrassed to have them see me like this.

I need to quit this...
 
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chris_m18

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#30
Louise you are not alone! Think of your children please. I do not know your situation in it’s entirety however it’s not justifiable enough to take your life. Your children are very smart as I can see and need you now after completing such amazing feats! The call I mentioned last time bugs me so much because all of this can be preventable with the right support group. And you’ve taken those steps by coming on here. So give yourself a pat on the back! Please do not be embarrassed, everyone in the course of their lives experiences hardship. Your family loves you and cares about you.
 
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natalie

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Aug 1, 2014
Messages
10,687
#32
Hi Louise, it's Natalie here,

First off, well done for reaching almost 70!

I hadn't realised that you had now become so unwell, i do hope if you get the right sort of help, and you say not sure if you have bpd or mdd, I should think, that with the right sort of diagnosis to confirm what you do have either bpd or mdd, you will then receive the right sort of medication and treatment.


Also, I hadn't realised you had become so depressed, and almost suicidal, do please get help for this, I do realise that you live in the States, so you might not be able to get the same helpand treatment and med, we have over there in Britain, if you are feeling suicidal, and do please call I believe the american and if someone can correct me if I'm wrong, on this, the emergancy services number or the Police out there, on 911, as I say don't quote me regarding the phone number, so if i;m wrong, I don't mind being recorrrected on that. Also do think of your offspring, children, they do need the support from them for you.

I do hope that you'll become better soon, with either your bpd, or mdd, and i do seriously hope, you'll over come the struggles you facing through your depression levels, please do seek help on a n urgent basis, if you are struggling, it's no good to struggle, and epsically not, if you have depression as well.


All the best,


Natalie.
 
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natalie

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#33
Hi Louise,

I'm just touching base to check how you are feeling/how you are doing, today?

I do hope that you are just about very much managing.


Best regards,


Natalie.
 
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LouiseMN

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#34
Hi Louise,

I'm just touching base to check how you are feeling/how you are doing, today?

I do hope that you are just about very much managing.


Best regards,


Natalie.
Thanks Natalie. I had a brief feeling of myself yesterday after shopping for some clothes, husband took me, so there is hope
But I am such a bundle of anxiety I haven't been able to get myself out there which I know I need. Just out of this house which gives me anxiety thinking of all the stuff we have that nobody will want when we are gone. Too much. Huge house, basement, garage, and shed. Husband won't throw anything away.
My doc will not give me meds. I just need to manage myself. I feel just as bad as ever.
Thanks. Natalie.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

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#35
Hi, Louise. I’m sorry you are having problems with anxiety.
Why won’t the doctor give you any medication? Is the doctor a psychiatrist, or if not, can you be referred to one?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#36
What does the doc want to do instead of giving you meds, louise? :grouphug:

please excuse any typos my cat is trying to get her arse on the keyboardf
 
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LouiseMN

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#37
I
I'm nearing 70 and have had life-long depression. Well done for getting through life with all the struggles that involves. Our natural death is not far away and it would be a shame to destroy what little time we have left. Time to say 'well done' to yourself, get help and make the most of the time left. It would probably be wise to have a spell in hospital as your depression is severe at the moment. You must use all of that inner strength and will to push through. Please don't give up.
This is exactly what my husband has been talking about, this should be our traveling time, we have the money and time. But I have been well for only 6 weeks or so in the past year and this is the worst I have ever been. Have yo
What does the doc want to do instead of giving you meds, louise? :grouphug:

please excuse any typos my cat is trying to get her arse on the keyboardf
She wants only therapy. She gave me nispnispaRnxiety but my primary problem is depression
 
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LouiseMN

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#38
Buspar makes no difference. I have asked for Latuda. I can't stand it, can't wait for therapy.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

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#39
I've never had any luck with Buspar for depression, although I've heard some people say it works for them.
Therapy might be helpful. Mostly it's just talking to the therapist, and they give you new ways of coping, and for challenging the thoughts that are leading you to depression. There are some forms that give "assignments" for you to complete by your next session, but they are only if you feel up to it. How soon are you scheduled for it?
Did it go okay at your daughter's pharmacy school graduation? You must be very proud of her.
 
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LouiseMN

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#40
I've never had any luck with Buspar for depression, although I've heard some people say it works for them.
Therapy might be helpful. Mostly it's just talking to the therapist, and they give you new ways of coping, and for challenging the thoughts that are leading you to depression. There are some forms that give "assignments" for you to complete by your next session, but they are only if you feel up to it. How soon are you scheduled for it?
Did it go okay at your daughter's pharmacy school graduation? You must be very proud of her.
Buspar is for anxiety which isn't s problem as much as depression. Pharmacy grad was good to see her so happy but I didn't do very well. Therapy is the 25th. Can't stand it. Waiting that long.

Thanks Victorianna. I think I was hypomanic there for s while when first joined. I'm thinking BPD now.
 

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