Stressed/Depressed at work

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StressedTechnician1989

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#1
Hi

I have been in my current job for just over a year now, but since about October I have been struggling with stress due to not being able to meet the minimum performance targets of my role despite my best efforts. I have had several meetings due to my performance and my stress/anxiety, as well as counselling sessions to deal with the stress but I am still really struggling. The other problem is it leaves me very drained in the evenings when I get in from work, such that I can just about get dinner and showered and ready for work the next day with my wife and kids, and getting the kids to bed leaving basic chores around the house not done and no time for either of us to relax. This obviously is causing me further stress, plus stress for my wife as she worries about me.

I have 2 young children (22 months and nearly 3 months old), which means it is awkward to find time atm to sort out things like looking for a new job at weekends when we try and keep on top of chores and occasionally find time for family activities.

I have ended up off sick several times this year, with colds that I think have been made worse by the stress as well as recently just feeling really under the weather and unable to do anything.

I don't know whether I should ask my doctor to sign me off with stress for a week or two as it's gotten bad again and I'm starting to feel quite low/depressed.

Any advice would be appreciated.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#2
Hi and welcome to the forum :welcome:

Could they move you across to a less stressful role? :hug:
 
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StressedTechnician1989

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#3
Hi and thanks.

Unfortunately not, as they don't feel that it should be a stressful role for me with my experience, which I'm inclined to agree with. But I just don't seem to be getting on with the role.

And since being back at work after paternity leave I haven't enjoyed the basics of my job at all.

Thanks for your reply
 
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OCDguy

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#4
Firstly :welcome:to the forum. You have been in your current employment for just over a year, have you been in your current role for that duration? If the answer is yes, what changed last October? Could it purely be the result of taking sick leave?
 
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StressedTechnician1989

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#5
Firstly :welcome:to the forum. You have been in your current employment for just over a year, have you been in your current role for that duration? If the answer is yes, what changed last October? Could it purely be the result of taking sick leave?
Hi and Thanks

Yes I have been in the same role for the entire duration of my current employment. October was around the time of me completing my probationary period, and I started to train on some new testing processes. Also at this time I had some issues with a test going wrong, and got quite a bit of heat from my Line Manager, and ever since that point seem to keep making mistakes despite trying to do my best to improve how I work and communicate with my manager.

Since then I have had several meetings regarding my performance, most recently during the start of last week to catch up on how I have felt work was going since returning in the middle of March after being off for paternity leave with a couple of weeks of holiday straight after that too (Planned and agreed with work due to the potential of my wife having a c-section again and needing the additional support, which did happen.) During the majority of my time back my line manager hasn't been around a lot and I had felt that for the most part I had been coping with my stress and the main aspects of my work targets with the help of the counselling sessions, and hadn't received any complaints from the senior staff coordinating my work. However, my meeting last week gave much the opposite message and despite again trying to take on board the comments and keep communicating well to achieve my tasks for the week have ended up getting very stressed and making more mistakes.

I feel that I am in a constant loop, and I can't think of ways to improve how I am working and my manager just keeps telling me that anybody else could do a better job.

I'm not sure what you are trying to say with 'Could it purely be the result of taking sick leave?', that I am stressed due to taking sick leave? Stress has made me be ill and yes I think that I have gotten more stressed by taking the leave because I feel guilty any time I have off sick, but this job has caused me to be off sick more times over the course of approx. 12 months than I have had in the previous 5 and a half of years of my career.

And ultimately I don't want to go crazy with how the stress is making me feel as I have a wife and 2 children to look after.

Thank you for your reply.
 
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OCDguy

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#6
Firstly I'm sorry to hear of your other half's health issues. I hope she's doing well now :) My point regarding sick leave, was that some employers take a dim view of it, hence counselling meetings.
Looking at it from a outside perspective, I ask these questions. Have you been given adequate training for any additional tasks you are expected to carry out. Are the tasks reasonable? Is the expectation reasonable? Are you given a fair amount of unharrassed time to complete these tasks and are they proportionate to your colleagues work loads? Could the issue be one person's perspective of your work performance, which may in turn be for personal reasons? If for any reason you think you may be being unfairly treated your first point of call is ACAS. I think you will find they are a Government body who offer free confidential and inpartial advice. They know all the latest UK work related laws and are the best people to turn for unbiased and inpartial advice (I have always found their advice to be better than the Union I was a member of). Keep us posted :)
 
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StressedTechnician1989

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#7
Firstly I'm sorry to hear of your other half's health issues. I hope she's doing well now :) My point regarding sick leave, was that some employers take a dim view of it, hence counselling meetings.
Looking at it from a outside perspective, I ask these questions. Have you been given adequate training for any additional tasks you are expected to carry out. Are the tasks reasonable? Is the expectation reasonable? Are you given a fair amount of unharrassed time to complete these tasks and are they proportionate to your colleagues work loads? Could the issue be one person's perspective of your work performance, which may in turn be for personal reasons? If for any reason you think you may be being unfairly treated your first point of call is ACAS. I think you will find they are a Government body who offer free confidential and inpartial advice. They know all the latest UK work related laws and are the best people to turn for unbiased and inpartial advice (I have always found their advice to be better than the Union I was a member of). Keep us posted :)
Thank you, she is doing well now. Ok, I think I see your point and I always worry about needing to take time off sick. I would hope that it hasn't been viewed negatively as we are encouraged to take time off if we aren't well, and I was asked if I had spoken to the counselling provided through Employee Assistance (Which I was in the progress of doing after my doctors appointment at the end of January). But, it doesn't feel like they don't care more they don't understand that I could be struggling with stress in my role.

I don't think that I am being treated unfairly regarding my responsibilities, but I am not coping and despite several attempts to improve I seem to be struggling more and more and have very little confidence now in my ability to do the role.

Furthermore I have lost my desire to do the type of work that for the previous 5 years I was passionate to work in. More than ever after my sessions of counselling and each week I go back in to work, I know I need to leave but I need to cope in the meantime which is where I think my stress problems are flaring up again and again.
 
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OCDguy

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#8
Are you able to offload some of your responsibilities, or perhaps switch positions, or even employers?