Returning to an old job - difficult boss?

J

johnram

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Joined
Apr 2, 2018
Messages
217
#1
I am keen to get other peoples opinions on a current dilemna i am facing.

I left my job under the advice of my wife in December as physical symptoms and behaviours associated with my cPTSD were getting worse. My wife's words "you were not in a good way". Now i have used the time since to do some intensive EMDR (3 hours a week) and i have been resting and managing the weight of that.

I feel i am in a better place now, and have started to look for work now, as my buffer fund is running out.

Now, my old boss who is narcissist / aggresive, who i dont like, and i think used my good nature to achieve her own personal goals (i dont know how to be assertive at work generally and particularly with her), she wants to hire me back. The job pays well, and anything else i have been applying for doesnt pay as much (big gap), the recruitment market is brutal at the moment for my skills and experience. i also want to change careers and feel that by doing this i can save some to allow that to happen, i feel if i have some more direction i can handle it better. However, there is this latent issue of going backwards, of not moving forwards, after taking such a big step and movement.

my wife says, if i do go back, i need to have a plan, and methods to how to deal with it better, and look to change it slightly. For me, i feel its more, take the money, use it as a base to then start looking for work, as from a CV point of view, it will look ok as i am returning to the same company, and i can then start looking into the careers i want to shift into.

So i say all that, with the fact that i have former colleagues who have been out of work for 6 months to two years, and some have had to move abroad given the changing nature of our work. So it feels like, its logical to take it.

Anyway, i am a bit allover the place, but wanted some guidance and thoughts please
thank you kindly
 
Fatal_Wisher

Fatal_Wisher

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May 7, 2019
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#2
I agree with your wife. You can also make stipulations to your boss before returning and accepting the job back. I’d actually make it seem like you’re doing her(your boss) a favor of coming back to work by under your stipulations. Give it a shot. What else would she say no? If anything it puts it in her head how unfairly she treated you
 
L

Lunar Lady

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Mar 19, 2019
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#3
Hi Johnram

Just a quickie reply - it will be much easier to find new employment if you are currently employed. Your boss wants you back - this is supportive and a huge ego boost that your service is both valued and wanted.

If you're feeling well, I would recommend you go back with a joyous heart and strict job-hunting discipline for the evenings - make a commitment to spending at least an hour per evening looking online, so you don't miss new opportunities.

There's a great deal of wisdom in the old adage "Better the devil you know"...I think you will feel more secure starting back to work in familiar surroundings with a boss that you already know - particularly as you've been out of the workplace for a few months.

Wishing you all the luck in the World xx
 
J

johnram

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Apr 2, 2018
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217
#5
I agree with your wife. You can also make stipulations to your boss before returning and accepting the job back. I’d actually make it seem like you’re doing her(your boss) a favor of coming back to work by under your stipulations. Give it a shot. What else would she say no? If anything it puts it in her head how unfairly she treated you
thank you, although even this part is hard for me. Challenging her. i think i can try though
 
J

johnram

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Joined
Apr 2, 2018
Messages
217
#6
Hi Johnram

Just a quickie reply - it will be much easier to find new employment if you are currently employed. Your boss wants you back - this is supportive and a huge ego boost that your service is both valued and wanted.

If you're feeling well, I would recommend you go back with a joyous heart and strict job-hunting discipline for the evenings - make a commitment to spending at least an hour per evening looking online, so you don't miss new opportunities.

There's a great deal of wisdom in the old adage "Better the devil you know"...I think you will feel more secure starting back to work in familiar surroundings with a boss that you already know - particularly as you've been out of the workplace for a few months.

Wishing you all the luck in the World xx
Really appreciate this, and its somewhat where my thinking is at the moment. thank you
 
Fatal_Wisher

Fatal_Wisher

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May 7, 2019
Messages
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Location
USA
#7
I believe challenging her will put her back for a second! Definitely give it a try. Also I believe it’ll make you feel more empowered against her.(not in a bad way)
 
J

johnram

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Apr 2, 2018
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#8
I believe challenging her will put her back for a second! Definitely give it a try. Also I believe it’ll make you feel more empowered against her.(not in a bad way)
I hear that, and agree. Need to try. I guess my fear is, i lose the opportunity. She loves her power and control.
 
M

Mary26

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Feb 28, 2018
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#9
I believe that we're here to learn and that every person who is put in our path is our teacher. This person is clearly being put in your path so ask yourself what she's here to teach you because if you avoid her, the universe will throw a similar challenge at you. That's what my experience has been anyway.