My relative is suffering from Social anxiety and depression

G

Gudda88

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Joined
Apr 16, 2019
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Iceland
#1
My relative is suffering from Social anxiety and depression and have been for many years.

So, he came to me for help this weekend, has been feeling terrible, he has not many friends in his life. He went 4 years ago to study in French, In the school there was a woman which helped him with some French stuff he needed to do, like bank accounts, getting FR phone number and she told him about places he should visit, but they were never like friends, only student and staff helping out, they are on a similar age though.

Because of all this he started to care for her like a friend, she did not feel the same way. he felt like she did give him a hope in life by saying him lot of French stuff like wine, good food and so on. She then left the school and started to work in Dubai, but she gave him permission that he could talk to her on Instagram and follow her travel experience.

He has always just been a loner but has always wanted to help people as much as he can. He has not been feeling very well this year and has had some stomach problems and he has been scared that he might have cancer. Doctors don't know what is wrong, hopefully they will find out soon.

He went to Dubai for a vacation last month, hoped it would help keeping his mind from his illness, he asked the girl he known a little bit from France if they would meet, she saw the post but did not response. He then gave up and just traveled around the city for few days. On afternoon he wanted to go to some bar and watch his football team play. He came in late as he thought the game would start one hour later. In the bar the girl was there with her friends, he was scared to go to here but later on he panicked and decided to go to her and say hi and asked if he could sit with them for the rest of the game, it was 20 min max. He felt good being able to talk to her, she and her friends left shortly after the game and she wished him a good stay in Dubai..

So when I came back to the hotel he got messages from her in his phone. She told him that it was wrong of him being on the same place as her when she was with her friends and said he was stalking her and blocked him on insta before he could even explain himself.

Now because of everything he is in so much darkness, doesn't want to life anymore and feels terrible that he hurt a person he trusted one of the most in the world.

He doesn't know what to do, I have even wondered if I should try to send her an email to try to explain how my cousin feels.

After he came to me for help and he explained to me how he had been feeling last 10 years or so. I thought about sending her an email to explain how he is feeling and try to get her forgiveness, is it wrong of me doing that? If its fine is it okay to share the email first here before I send it?

regards
Gudda
 
LouisaMogs

LouisaMogs

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Apr 15, 2019
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58
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Warrington
#2
I don’t think sending her an email is a good idea. The girl obviously isn’t interested which is her choice.

Your cousin sounds like a guy who really needs professional help. Social anxiety and depression are awful, CBT May help along with the correct medication.

I hope that helps.
 
G

Gudda88

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Apr 16, 2019
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Iceland
#3
They had been chatting a little bit on instagram before he went to Dubai. He had trust her for some mental problems he had been having last 2-3 years and she sometimes gave him a good and supportive feedback which helped him. She is a traveler and just about month before he went to Dubai she encourage him to start to travel alone. Said it would could help make friends and He had always wanted to travel was always afraid to do it alone, because he has not any close friends and is struggling to connect to people.

I just think that she was scared that she thought he was stalking her. He was just on a wrong place at the wrong time. Before he went to the bar he had just seen photo were she was in Oman so he could never have known she was there.

Its just so terrible to see him in his pain because she did so much for him and you he was like a new man when he came back from his study in France, had so many good memories because of her even though she was not with him in them. I don't think she understand how much help she did for him in France. He was so isolated before France but was more open when he came back home and was always willing to help the family and people he trusts.

He just started to be isolated again early in this year because of his fear of cancer and she was almost the only person he had been talking to, she probably don't know that either. When he met her over there he was to afraid to tell her about his cancer feelings because he didn't know any of the other people which were on the same table. He was going to at the hotel afterwards but it was to late. Now he is every day blaming himself for having going to Dubai and hates himself for possible hurt her by say hello.
 
G

Gudda88

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Joined
Apr 16, 2019
Messages
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#4
And I'm of course not thinking of sending her to blame her or anything like that. I just feel she deserve to know how much he has been going through his life and how lucky he was to meet her because I have not seen him as happy as last 3-4 years, sharing to the family what he learned from her, but all fell a part from him again two months ago.
 

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