Love and Mental Illness

C

change

Active member
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
27
#1
I'm a woman with CPTSD.

There's low functioning, and high functioning individuals with this diagnosis. I consider myself low functioning, because I am unable to keep a job and I suffer with bouts of agoraphobia.

I'm in love with a man with schizophrenia. I consider him to be high functioning, as he can keep a job and he enjoys socializing with others.

The illnesses are diagnosed; the bits about high and low functioning are guesses/assumptions on my part.

Anyways... I'm so happy. I'm in love. I just don't really know what I'm doing just yet, it's a brand new situation. He's perfect in every way. He's so sweet to me. I really honestly believed that I was too crazy to be romantically involved with anyone.

But I have made this post to hear other stories of love and mental illness, to hear what has worked for you, what hasn't, to be inspired and forewarned.

I love this man. He loves me. We are not co-dependent- separate lives, similar interests.

It just occurred to me that I may have made this post just to brag. I'm in love. He accepts me as I am. It took me years to accept me as I am.

Anyone relate? Anyone have a strong, years long love story that just happens to have a little mental illness thrown in? I'd love to hear from you.

Thank You So Much!
 
N

natalie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
10,687
#2
Hi Change,

I just felt I had to read and hopefully correspond to your post.


Now I'm not sure what CPTSD stands for;


I have mental health issues, such as towards szchiophrenia and slightly leaning towards bipolar.
I happen to have a very very s trong mutual admirer. Now I need to protect his work id, so I'm afraid I can't hint what sort of work he does. He's earning, full time, on a weekly and sometimes weekend basis, though weekends aren't always definites, he has strong friendliness, and a very strong personality. He's also strikingly handsome and attractive, ah very attractive.


Now, he happens to be much younger than me, I've lost track how old he is from and now, I knew him long ago, when he was 30, and I was 41, and I am now 48, unsure how old he is now though, then as my close cousin put to me, does age really matter. At the end of the day, I'm thinking, I suppose not. As long as two people can get on, and have similar knowledge and interests, even though unfortunatley I can't just don't work, i volunteer, for organisations, then age doesn't really matter.


As i say, he fell for me, not the other way round, i happened to have alway been single, and in such a way i am still single, and I happened to be able on a spiritual basis so to speak, to accept him. years later on, we first knew each other from way back, call it 2012. As somebody said to me, wow, the length of time I knew him, have fun, they said.


I am still very much in lust with him, and accepted his feelings for me, from him, i try to visit him, whenever i can, ie, if in volunteering, whilst and if I remember, I'll say hello to him, or if i am popping in for lunch, from volunteering elsewhere, I'll say hello to him either or both sides of lunch session. As i imply I can't hint the type of work that he does, it's red tape. And I need to protect his work id.


By the way, i have a cousin couple whom are married, both with deep seated oriignally mental health issues, they now are living separately, but still married on good terms, due to children.
So to have both partners with mental health issues, i don't think is always a safe plan.


So, I'll prefer and liking that my potential partner, is earning, doesn't have mental health issues, although i have, to then h opefully make our actual relationship work out.
 
Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
153
Location
England
#3
Hi change! I'm really pleased that you have found love, makes me feel all fuzzy for you :D
I have just been 'dumped' after 4 years. Our relationship was brilliant for the most part. He has his own issues (possible ASD) I have just been diagnosed with BPD.

I am high functioning, I have gained and kept good employment and I am a social person. I always did the days out with the kids, friends for tea, sleepovers, school and medical appointments. He was solitary. Has a small number of friends and isn't really close to his family. Very private. After a few years his mental health really dipped. He was sleeping a lot, irritable and became lazy. He was always very active, kept himself busy, little side projects even though he didn't work. We decided to live separately (we both have children and I discovered I was pregnant).

Since he moved out his mood became worse. Bearing in mind I was pregnant and have an 11 year old with autism, I was still working and supporting him and his daughter financially and emotionally. I couldn't encourage him to do go see GP and just after I had the baby I discovered he had lied about his financial situation, amongst other things.

He did help with baby, he became more withdrawn and this pushed me to despair. I tried so hard for him despite how I felt and having a lot on my plate. I just needed him to love me and support me. Instead it seemed like he hated me. I cracked on and asked for support from outside services. This dragged on my ex wouldn't engage in assessments. I was so frustrated and upset. I told my CPN I wanted to kill myself. The children were removed from my care.

3 weeks later. He has the baby. He has never spoken to me. He got his solicitor to tell me in court we were over. I'm confused and saddened. I know my children will be returned upon assessment but I don't know how I will come to terms with why he acted this way. He must have lied to me a lot.

My situation is different of course. He didn't engage with services relating to his mental health. He was never going to get better. So it didn't matter what I did..... and I did my best and did it well considering the circumstances at the time. If you and your partner remember to look after your own health and keep your own individuality you could enjoy a long happy relationship! My problem was a trait of my BPD is idealising people. I put him on a pedestal and let him walk allover me. I accepted it and excused it due to his mental health.... even though I would never put my mental health on to someone else.

I hope this is useful in some way and enjoy being in love! :*
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
3,215
Location
spams land
#4
Hi Change,

I just felt I had to read and hopefully correspond to your post.


Now I'm not sure what CPTSD stands for;


I have mental health issues, such as towards szchiophrenia and slightly leaning towards bipolar.
I happen to have a very very s trong mutual admirer. Now I need to protect his work id, so I'm afraid I can't hint what sort of work he does. He's earning, full time, on a weekly and sometimes weekend basis, though weekends aren't always definites, he has strong friendliness, and a very strong personality. He's also strikingly handsome and attractive, ah very attractive.


Now, he happens to be much younger than me, I've lost track how old he is from and now, I knew him long ago, when he was 30, and I was 41, and I am now 48, unsure how old he is now though, then as my close cousin put to me, does age really matter. At the end of the day, I'm thinking, I suppose not. As long as two people can get on, and have similar knowledge and interests, even though unfortunatley I can't just don't work, i volunteer, for organisations, then age doesn't really matter.


As i say, he fell for me, not the other way round, i happened to have alway been single, and in such a way i am still single, and I happened to be able on a spiritual basis so to speak, to accept him. years later on, we first knew each other from way back, call it 2012. As somebody said to me, wow, the length of time I knew him, have fun, they said.


I am still very much in lust with him, and accepted his feelings for me, from him, i try to visit him, whenever i can, ie, if in volunteering, whilst and if I remember, I'll say hello to him, or if i am popping in for lunch, from volunteering elsewhere, I'll say hello to him either or both sides of lunch session. As i imply I can't hint the type of work that he does, it's red tape. And I need to protect his work id.


By the way, i have a cousin couple whom are married, both with deep seated oriignally mental health issues, they now are living separately, but still married on good terms, due to children.
So to have both partners with mental health issues, i don't think is always a safe plan.


So, I'll prefer and liking that my potential partner, is earning, doesn't have mental health issues, although i have, to then h opefully make our actual relationship work out.
CPTSD = complicated (I think) post traumatic stress disorder :)

I've never been in love with someone with a diagnosed mental health condition, but just wanted to say what CPTSD is for natalie :)
 
N

natalie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
10,687
#5
Thanks very much, midnightphoenix, I appreciate it.
 
Beth D

Beth D

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Eastbourne, East Sussex
#6
I'm a woman with CPTSD.

There's low functioning, and high functioning individuals with this diagnosis. I consider myself low functioning, because I am unable to keep a job and I suffer with bouts of agoraphobia.

I'm in love with a man with schizophrenia. I consider him to be high functioning, as he can keep a job and he enjoys socializing with others.

The illnesses are diagnosed; the bits about high and low functioning are guesses/assumptions on my part.

Anyways... I'm so happy. I'm in love. I just don't really know what I'm doing just yet, it's a brand new situation. He's perfect in every way. He's so sweet to me. I really honestly believed that I was too crazy to be romantically involved with anyone.

But I have made this post to hear other stories of love and mental illness, to hear what has worked for you, what hasn't, to be inspired and forewarned.

I love this man. He loves me. We are not co-dependent- separate lives, similar interests.

It just occurred to me that I may have made this post just to brag. I'm in love. He accepts me as I am. It took me years to accept me as I am.

Anyone relate? Anyone have a strong, years long love story that just happens to have a little mental illness thrown in? I'd love to hear from you.

Thank You So Much!
This is a great post! I'm new to the forum but I think it's great reading about how our partners support us all. I have a post called 'what's is love?' and its my Interpretation, take a look if you want. X
 
K

Keesha

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
65
Location
Canada
#7
Really sweet stories. I don’t have any advice: just wanted to wish you the best.
I’ve got mental disorders and been with the same man who accepts me as is. It can work and it’s never boring. Lol
Good luck