Is it anxiety or panic?

K

kma_1609

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#1
Hi folks

Just looking for some feedback and support from others who may experience similar to me so I know it’s not just me!

Between 2013 and 2018 I was in a severely toxic relationship.

To coin the phrase “treading on eggshells” around this person is almost an understatement and over time I began to grow exceptionally resentful of her and our relationship because of how she made me feel. She would constantly blame me for her behaviour, even in events I had nothing to do with she would find a way to link it to me and something I did. She had counselling and anger management but the effects were short lived. I’m a good person, very happy go lucky type and don’t have time for dramas but I’m no angel, I procrastinate a lot and this would wind her up no end, so I’m not putting it all on her.

In 2017 I had my first ever panic attack and I noticed my daily anxiety was more noticeable. I think the sheer fear of that panic attack opened a door to emotions I hadn’t experienced before and I was constantly searching for them returning

After more arguments and feeling desperate to leave this woman, In Nov 2017 my anxiety became frightening and that leads to now

I don’t have any anxious thoughts, I’ve moved away, I’m happy in my life, I’ve got a lot to make me smile. But I have this physical anxiety daily that just won’t go away and I don’t know what’s causing it! I’m not thinking anxiously other than why am I anxious!!!

I get this intense pressure feeling in my stomaching as if it wants to burst. I’ve just had another round of bloods done as my BP was stupidly high last month but has dropped this week after lifestyle changes (still very high though)

Pretty much every day is just spent wondering if I’m going to have an attack, followed by these rushes of fear that tingle down my body which then I try and make sure don’t escalate into a full attack. It’s exhausting and frustrating and I have no idea why it’s happening. I understand the ex will have caused too much stress but if she’s gone and I’m in a happier place, why the heck am I suffering so much!

I should also mention I’m hyper sensitive to anything stressful

Sorry it’s long, hope someone can offer some guideance

Have a great day 😊
 
T

Tomorrows a new day

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#2
Hi mate, panic is an extreme reaction to anxiety, they are related. It's basically a fear response you body produces because it thinks it's in danger, fear is very powerful emotion and can quickly consume a person and you can become fearful and being fearful. You can try some exercise to burn the hormones off, but if that doesn't work see your doctor and try some meds for anxiety
 
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gam9147

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#3
Hi there. Yes as tommorow's above states, they are intertwined. But it certainly sounds like your past has caused you to trigger more lately and you may need to sit down and work on things. Had you had counseling before for you? Even if you aren't the one with the issue in the relationship doesn't mean you don't need to get help for it as well. Sadly toxicity can spread and cause different symptoms like anxiety and panic in others like you and I.
 
K

kma_1609

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#4
Hi mate, panic is an extreme reaction to anxiety, they are related. It's basically a fear response you body produces because it thinks it's in danger, fear is very powerful emotion and can quickly consume a person and you can become fearful and being fearful. You can try some exercise to burn the hormones off, but if that doesn't work see your doctor and try some meds for anxiety

Cheers mate, I’ve started swimming recently but in the past when I’ve tried to get back into the gym, I get super anxious about my heart rate rising and then when it inevitably does i convince myself I’m putting myself in danger and have to stop 🤦‍♂️

Swimming seems to be ok though so far 👍

Is it normal to feel very low for the days after an attack? As that’s what I’m currently experiencing, and it feels worse because I’m doing everything right in terms of lifestyle, see big improvements and then BAM I have an attack and feel so helpless for days after
 
K

kma_1609

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#5
Hi there. Yes as tommorow's above states, they are intertwined. But it certainly sounds like your past has caused you to trigger more lately and you may need to sit down and work on things. Had you had counseling before for you? Even if you aren't the one with the issue in the relationship doesn't mean you don't need to get help for it as well. Sadly toxicity can spread and cause different symptoms like anxiety and panic in others like you and I.
Hi mate thanks for your reply

I have had counselling in the past and I felt it worked really well. Didn’t so much get into CBT as only went a couple of times (I was with the ex then too and the counsellor encouraged me to consider the toll that relationship was taking on my health) but it was more just talking and getting it off my chest, could literally feel a bit of the brain fog lift.

I’ve booked myself back in for sessions once a week starting next Tuesday so hopefully it will do the same good, daft I haven’t been back sooner tbh.

Re the relationship though, you’re right, I took so much emotional abuse for a sustained period that it’s suggested why I am like I am. Suppressing those feelings I had for so long have just boiled over into a constant hyper alert/stressed state.

My main triggers now are going to a place I know I can’t immediately leave and shouting. I’ve battled with agoraphobia recently but just have to fight through it and it passes, but it’s much easier to give in
 
G

gam9147

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#6
Excellent! that you've relearned that you can fight through it. You can get through, you can make it. These are important lessons you have to experience first hand and many are not there yet. Celebrate your victories :)

To your above post, yes it is normal to experience down days and more anxiety after an attack. For me, even after I have any emotional event even if small it will often linger for a few days. Which is just depressing for me at the moment, but I know I can make it through and feel better. It just takes some time, and working on that therapy.

I do encourage you to talk to your therapist about cognitive behavioral therapy. It definitely takes a number of months, so you wouldn't have gotten far before but it can give you more of a lasting set of coping skills and thought counters to help you.
 
T

Tomorrows a new day

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#7
yeah if your stressed and your heart rate is high you need a relaxing type of exercise nothing too aggressive. Unfortunately your mind has got in to a habit and that's typical with anxiety you can basically become fearful of anything. You have to de-censorsize yourself to the situation and reprogram your brain. Start by walking through a busy place like a train station, don't look at anyone just try and walk through. If this is too much find a place that you can handle then slowly build up. Good luck
 

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