I feel like people hate me

Sadkittygirl1928

Sadkittygirl1928

Active member
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
44
Location
usa
#1
I had to call out twice from "work" I do community service due to some legal stuff. I've never worked before because of my social anxiety and this is beyond hard on me mentally. I called out and the guy said if I do it again I'm not allowed to "work" there to get my hours done. I'm panicked, I don't feel like it is possible and I can't afford to get fired. I am so polite and I try to make good eye contact and go above and beyond to get done what they want and to the point, I am hurting myself physically (I am disabled physically and mentally). I want to give up I feel hated and honestly, I want to just die, I hate the idea of confrontation and I am literally hurting myself and its this or jail
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,501
Location
The West Country
#2
I'm sorry you're feeling so trapped in your situation and that people don't like you.
Is it because of the person who told you that you wouldn't be allowed to work again that you feel people dislike you?
It may be that they are trying the 'tough love' approach (which doesn't work with everyone and I don't like it personally), you can't really tell what a person is thinking so you don't know for a fact that people don't like you. I'm not trying to dismiss what you're saying or invalidate you, just trying to present another view.

Do people at your work know about your social anxiety or do they just know about the legal issues?
Sometimes people can be very judgemental and this could also be what's happening - they don't actually know you for who you are, and instead are making assumptions based on the fact that you are doing community service.

Is there a probation officer or someone who is organising your work placements who you can talk to about this?
I really hate being assertive and understand what you mean when you say you hate confrontation, but it need not get to the point where it's heated.
If you have someone that you can talk to it would be worth explaining that you are not refusing to do work and you are more than willing to try, but that some days your anxiety is too overwhelming.
I'm not sure what the work you're doing is, but you could say that the anxiety would mean that you wouldn't do a good job even if you turned up, because you would be unable to focus properly.

Try and hang on in there. :hug:
 

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