I’m skipping classes because of my social anxiety

1

1a2s9a8s

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#1
I am afraid of having to go to the bathroom in the middle of class. I feel like I’m not allowed to. So I skip class. My parents are unhappy with me. I worry that eventually, they may physically harm me or harassingly yell at me.

I only have approximately 30 days left of school.

I feel like there’s something wrong with my body. I have to use the bathroom a lot more than others, it seems.

In the morning, I feel like I have to eat breakfast very early, because if I don’t, the timing will be so that I have to go to the bathroom during the first class. I feel like I have to eat breakfast earlier to prevent that. However, it hasn’t been so easy to wake up early.

Anyway, the point is, I am unconfident in class. I worry that I will have to go to the bathroom. Everyone will see me.

So I skip classes.

How do I fix my problem?
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

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#2
You should try a therapy to battle your anxiety. Chances are your body is perfectly fine and it's your mind that makes you need to go to the bathroom often.

I spent many years and countless doctor visits and two hospital stays to figure out what is wrong with my body without getting any diagnosis. Don't make the same mistake.

Did your parents harm you before?
 
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1a2s9a8s

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#3
You should try a therapy to battle your anxiety.
I don’t think I have time for that right now, though... also, I remain unconvinced that that would help, because I went to psychologist many times, and it didn’t really help

Did your parents harm you before?
No. I mean, I’ve been kind of shaken before, but I think it would be very coddled of me to count that.
 
Soul_Deeps

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#4
Did you try a behavioural therapy specifically against social anxiety before? Because that is what helps. If you tried that and it didn't help before I assume you had not a good or fitting therapist for you. However this is by far the most effective way to tackle anxiety.

Until then what you can do by yourself already is to never skip any classes because of your anxiety. The more you let your anxiety influence your behaviour the worse it will get.

Why do you fear your parents could harm you?
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

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#6
But I can’t... I feel like something will go wrong with me in class
I know it's difficult, but that is why it's effective. It's hard and long training for your mind. There is no easy way to tackle anxiety.



Because why wouldn’t I?
Because you said they never harmed you. I mean this is very important, if you have abusive parents, you need to get away from them.
 
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1a2s9a8s

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#7
I know it's difficult, but that is why it's effective. It's hard and long training for your mind. There is no easy way to tackle anxiety.
So the best course of action for me is to challenge my anxiety by going to class?
 
Soul_Deeps

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#8
It's generally best to do what your anxiety tries to stop you from doing, yes.

The reason why it's usually done with the help of a therapist is because there traps you can fall into. If you challenge your anxiety, you must do so in a way your mind learns there is nothing to be afraid of.

For example, if you go to class but skipped breakfast before, it's easy to think: "I am fine today but only because I didn't eat anything. If I would have eaten something, I wouldn't be fine now."

You must not have any form of safety net. Don't skip breakfast and don't eat breakfast earlier. If you have to go to the bathroom during class, you can go. If you have to go multiple times, you can go multiple times. It shouldn't matter if other people see you. Always go to the bathroom when you want to or need to, no matter how many people see you or are around. Otherwise you would give yourself a safety net again. Eventually your mind has to learn that going to the bathroom is nothing to be afraid of. Also, even if other people would comment on it (which I think is unlikely), it's nothing to be afraid of.
Challenge your anxiety properly and I promise you it will get better with _time_. Sadly, there are no immediate results and the beginning is incredibly hard. But it's worth it in the end.
 
BPDevil

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#9
can you talk to your teachers or anyone? they maybe able to make classroom arrangements like letting you sit near the door so you can leave when you want or a time out space so you can do your class work or cool down somewhere private, I doubt anyone would judge

I don't think you should keep something like this to yourself when it will have an affect on your attendance and maybe grades which is more than likely to be put on record

I was a very anxious person at school and I know how daunting it is when you have these problems, but opening up to the right person made things a lot easier
 
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1a2s9a8s

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#10
can you talk to your teachers or anyone? they maybe able to make classroom arrangements like letting you sit near the door so you can leave when you want
That was brought up during the talk between my parent and I and the teacher, you know, like one of those things, every student has,... but the thing is, my seat is only near the door in certain classrooms. In many classes, I sit very far away from the door. Yes, there was an offer forn me to sit close to the door in those classes too, but you have to understand that that would draw attention from my classmates, like, why the fuck am I sitting in a different place? Why am I always sitting near the door? Obviously, I don't want that, because that's what all this is about

a time out space so you can do your class work or cool down somewhere private, I doubt anyone would judge
thing is, there's another person in my class whom I will call person A who works on person A's own in a different part of the school building, but the thing is, the teacher's only offered half of that to me, pretty much, like, I can sit in another part of the building, but I have to email the teacher of the class I skip, which I don't want to. this all just seems really stupid.

and I feel like it's a bad thing to do, anyway, and also, my classmates do notice that I am absent, one of them talked to me about it on Thursday this week, and I don't want to draw attention to myself.
 
BPDevil

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#11
it may draw attention at first but after a while your classmates wont care, im sure they have other things to worry about and other people to focus on for less mundane things than this, its better to go through with what was offered to you than carry on like this because in the end it will affect your record, not anyone elses
 
Soul_Deeps

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#12
I would say it depends what your priority is currently. If you want to finish school first as good as possible, it is perfectly fine to help yourself like that, so it makes it easier for you to go to class.

But it makes the anxiety worse, is the downside. If your priority is to battle the anxiety, you should not search for ways to make it any easier for you. But maybe it's a better idea to start battling anxiety after you are done with school in one month?
 
BPDevil

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#13
as someone who's battled through different types of anxiety and still pretty much is, sometimes you have to make it easier for yourself first to then do the hard bits later on, I've found jumping into the deep end makes me more anxious and ends with even more avoidance, you have to ease yourself into things rather than head it face on sometimes

I think OP at least attending class is a start if things are put in place for them to make them feel more settled
 
BPDevil

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#14
I'd feel like physically throwing up at the thought of going into certain classes, but then I had things put in place for me which made my schooling experience a lot better and actually helped my anxiety because I could ease my way into attending them rather than feeling forced too, sometimes that's just what you need to make yourself more confident to face things as it also worked for my travel anxiety, hell, I rely on the train service now when 4 years back I was shit scared of going near one

I've also recently been on an anxiety management course which helped a ton, so if there is anything like that in your area then I'd give it a try