Hi everyone, thanks for having me

A

aiden521

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
1
Location
manchester
#1
Hi everyone,

Not sure if this is the best kind of site for this, I haven't been diagnosed with anything mainly looking for some advice.

Back story... when I was 20 I suddenly became ill, it was pretty aggressive and required multiple surgeries to fix, during this I was pretty much house bound and for a significant amount of that time bed bound. I've now recovered and I'm in better health with more energy than I've ever been, I finished my degree/masters and just started a new job, so everything should be great... but it's not. As cliche as it sounds this changed my perspective on things, before I was really social, ambitious with a relatively clear idea of what I wanted from life. During the illness I had little to no money and I got used to it and found I was fine without it, I was always the baby of my group of friends and whilst I was ill their lives carried on (like it should) and so I spent a lot of that time alone and again I got used to it, same thing with relationships.
My degree and potential career were all built on the idea of progressing up a corporate ladder something I now see little worth in and this lack of worth carries over, since all this I've lost a lot of desire to make friends, have a relationship, money. I'm now in a situation where I have no goal and I just question why I'm doing these things they bring me no enjoyment and the frustrating part is I don't know what will. This has resulted in me jumping into various jobs, attempts to make friends that I gradually lose interest in and I tried dating but hated the modern style of it and just stopped.
I've been hoping that at some point I would "wake" back up and it would all come good but it's very much not doing that, instead I just feel like I'm drifting with an ever increasing feeling of what's the point. After everything this wasn't what I thought would be difficult, with me getting older I'm beginning to worry that I'm going to miss out on some key parts of life, I know that how I'm feeling isn't "normal" but I have no idea how to go about changing it, which leads me here.

Has anyone been through anything similar or have any idea what I should be doing differently to try and snap out of this.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
3,196
Location
spams land
#2
Hi and welcome :welcome:

I don't have advice but i'm sure someone will be along who has some advice for you, i just didnt want you to feel like nobody was listening to you :hug:
 
B

Brantster

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
6
Location
United Kingdom
#4
Hey, I experienced a similar result, but from just many years of achieving what I thought were valuable goals (becoming head of marketing for a finance firm by 35) and found they were empty. Dating also lost its attraction. Then I got addicted to coke, lost a lot of money, my career and now trying to reset myself. The lack of a deep purpose to my life is something I'm trying to resolve. No easy answers. I have been diagnosed with BPD so also grappling with other stuff too. However, visualizing a future you want does help. I mean vision boards, cheesy but they do help. Also, complete what you've already started, just throw off your old life and create the one you want. Not many people get a chance to completely build the life they can choose freely, without constraints or influence. Your friend are now tied in to their choices. You are not. It just takes effort and time to understand what you truly desire. We are programmed by so many factors you have to find and kind of undo them all. Hope that helps!
 
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