feeling worthless and not good enough

A

anxiousbee

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May 10, 2019
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Indiana
#1
i'm in my 20s and don't have a job because of my anxiety. i really feel guilty about not being able to help pay bills and it sucks i can't afford therapy. recently someone told me i don't have ambitions and i'm not doing anything with my life and it really hurt my feelings because i thought they were understanding of my mental health problems. i was slowly starting to make progress, but it's like none of that mattered.

i know what i want to do with my life. i have big dreams and i'm going to accomplish them one day. but that's not easy at all. everyone always puts me down and makes me feel worthless. it's like i'm just a lazy jobless loser to them and nothing i do will ever be good enough. how do i tell people about how my anxiety affects my life without the fear of sounding dramatic or feeling like a burden? how do i get support and compassion instead of rude comments? i'm trying my hardest. i just want to be understood.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

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Feb 8, 2019
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663
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California, USA
#2
Im sorry that someone said that to you. I’m glad you’re slowly making progress, and that you have dreams for your future.
If you are open about your mental health problems with people, you can explain how difficult it is to deal with. You can also tell them you have goals you are working towards. Some people will be understanding, others will think you are a slacker. I don’t think a lot of people understand anxiety as a real illness. Oh well, try not to let it get you down!
Hopefully you are getting some kind of medical help with your anxiety. I know medicine helped me tremendously.
 
A

anxiousbee

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Indiana
#3
thank you for responding. :) i hope to get some much needed help in the near future. just wish i could afford therapy.

going to try and explain my anxiety to the person who hurt my feelings and maybe then they'll finally understand. if it doesn't go well, i'll definitely be upset, that's for sure.
 
R

Ramson bangers

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England
#4
Hi anxiousbee:)
I know how it feels, one of my bosses gave me a disciplinary for sickness and said to me ''some of us come to work to get away from that'' it hurt my feelings as it was very dismissive of my health. I kind of took it one the chin at the time because i felt like i was improving my attendance in the future. But it knocks you back, i think i felt the same.
Always remember
Your progress is your accomplishment. No ones opinion can take that away therefore it doesnt matter.
 
G

gam9147

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Feb 18, 2019
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Delaware, USA
#5
It is difficult to not be judgmental sometimes to others who face different problems. It's hard to explain to them, desire for them to accept, and even more difficult to forgive them for thinking that way and embrace them for who they are -- even with their own problems (judgement being one of them clearly!).

I know I am guilty on both sides. My wife has more problems than I do with ADHD , bipolar, depression. I get frustrated with her many times, but I myself have generalized anxiety, and want others to accept me and my condition as well. Its times when I'm feeling bad I can better take in the scope of problems we all can have at times but in the moment I will often say stupid things.

I hope that's all it is here, and trying to be open and honest should hopefully help you get your friends/relatives to understand and accept you better for who you are and help you when you need it.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Mar 9, 2012
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#6
are there any mental health charities that can help you with therapy? :hug:

you ARE good enough and are NOT worthless, I'm sorry someone said that to you it is not true :hug:

they clearly do not understand mental health issues :hug::hug:
 
A

anxiousbee

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May 10, 2019
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Indiana
#7
people can be so mean when they don't understand something. :( but yeah, you're completely right! thank you and i hope you're doing well now.
 
G

GoldFish123

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May 11, 2019
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Nigeria
#8
hi anxiousbee,
try going to a nearby church and church events. it may also help with your anxiety since it is a social situation with
no judgements.
However, what are your dreams? I am interested in knowing.
 
A

anxiousbee

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May 10, 2019
Messages
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Indiana
#9
gam9147, your wife is lucky to have you. it's definitely not easy having mental health problems and being in a relationship. thank you for your input!
 
A

anxiousbee

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May 10, 2019
Messages
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Indiana
#11
GoldFish123, thanks for the suggestion!

my dreams are to work with kids (not as a teacher, more like a nanny or a daycare worker) and i would love to be able to sell my artwork as bookmarks, stickers, etc. the rest has to do with owning a house with a big garden in the backyard and having lots of pets! i hope that doesn't sound silly.
i appreciate you asking. :)
 
G

GoldFish123

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Messages
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Nigeria
#13
GoldFish123, thanks for the suggestion!

my dreams are to work with kids (not as a teacher, more like a nanny or a daycare worker) and i would love to be able to sell my artwork as bookmarks, stickers, etc. the rest has to do with owning a house with a big garden in the backyard and having lots of pets! i hope that doesn't sound silly.
i appreciate you asking. :)
It does not sound silly at all. I also have big dreams to start a company and make big bucks and help others accomplish their dreams too. That's why I asked you to see how I can help. However, I will follow you in this forum and see how I can help you in the future if I make progress with my dreams. Thanks for sharing.
 
L

LivingWithX

Member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Bay of Plenty
#14
i'm in my 20s and don't have a job because of my anxiety. i really feel guilty about not being able to help pay bills and it sucks i can't afford therapy. recently someone told me i don't have ambitions and i'm not doing anything with my life and it really hurt my feelings because i thought they were understanding of my mental health problems. i was slowly starting to make progress, but it's like none of that mattered.

i know what i want to do with my life. i have big dreams and i'm going to accomplish them one day. but that's not easy at all. everyone always puts me down and makes me feel worthless. it's like i'm just a lazy jobless loser to them and nothing i do will ever be good enough. how do i tell people about how my anxiety affects my life without the fear of sounding dramatic or feeling like a burden? how do i get support and compassion instead of rude comments? i'm trying my hardest. i just want to be understood.
I absolutely love that you say you have big dreams and you're going to accomplish them one day. Good on you. I'd recommend you make the further decision to say when that one day is too, so you get it done.

Here's something that may not resonate right now but hopefully it will one day soon - it doesn't matter one bit what those people think of you. Outside of your worry and feeling of failure (and those are massive, don't get me wrong), what does their opinion mean to your life? Does it stop you achieving your dreams? No, they're very likely not of any power at all. I'd encourage you to rationalise in this way in the future. Worst case, they dislike you. Which means nothing to you in your journey unless you buy into it and give them the power to cause extra anxiety. The guilt about not working doesn't serve you either.

Make a plan for wellness, a daily one for at least a month and you may find you don't need the therapy. I got better without therapy, just a lot of reading, making long-term change and changing my mindset of what I focused on. It's not easy. Hell no. But what's a bit more pain in the interim for long-term gain when you're already feeling the way you are?

Good luck, everyone deserves to be content and happy with their lives.
 
G

gam9147

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Feb 18, 2019
Messages
293
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Delaware, USA
#15
thank you all for great uplifting comments in general! I am so happy that so many of us can provide this to others even though I know we are all struggling with our issues many times!
 
A

anxiousbee

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May 10, 2019
Messages
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Indiana
#18
i love this!

the one good thing about my anxiety is that it's made me a kinder person. i'm nice to everyone because a lot of people in this world are going through something.
 
L

LivingWithX

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Messages
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Bay of Plenty
#19
i love this!

the one good thing about my anxiety is that it's made me a kinder person. i'm nice to everyone because a lot of people in this world are going through something.
This is so, SO true. People with anxiety tend to be the most empathetic, kind people on the face of the earth.

A favourite quote of mine (and I usually don't give much heed to quotes) is from Napolean Hill, along the lines of every hardship or struggle in life drops an equal or greater seed of opportunity. Having anxiety is a hardship but it also gives us the opportunity to be empathetic to others, feel what others are going through and potentially help them as well.
 

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