Feeling empowered

C

Confusedandanxious

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Joined
May 5, 2019
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127
Location
Uk
#1
A bit of a rant and a bit of self bragging.

I've suffered agoraphobia for years. I managed to find my comfort zones so I wasnt completely isolated at home like I used to be.
I met a fair few nice people. People I'd see regularly on my walks. One person I met wasnt nice under the surface. I got close and that was a bad idea.
When I wanted to pull away, they decided to spread all kinds of lies about me to this group of people I had come to know.

Deep down, I knew that they wouldn't believe a word of it. But it was on my mind, and I would overthink it constantly. I could no longer bring myself to go out on those walks anymore. If I passed these people elsewhere, they would ask me questions about what happened. Reassuring me that they know this person is a pathological liar. It didnt help. I ended up avoiding going out completely, unless I was getting straight into a car and out of the area.

I really wanted to get back into this area and do what I used to enjoy again. So my graded exposure is just that.

I have been doing so well and the best part about it all is seeing this person squirm. They've had a year of having this place without me and now I'm back. They cant even look at me when they walk past.

I know, that they know that I know, that they've been full of shit. And I know that they know that I can crush them if I wanted to by just speaking the truth. But I dont, and I wont. I will enjoy watching them punishing themselves with their own thinking each time we cross paths.

The tables have turned and now they are going to be the one wondering what I am saying. Which will be nothing. But they dont know that.

It has took me far too long to get to this point. I'm feeling so much stronger now and I never thought that the person who helped cause this, will be the one who will help fix this.
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
I am pleased that you have made it this far. Good for you. Keep going strong and don't let the past eat at you.
 
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