Everything goes so fast....... In the fall and winter :p

Chameleon

Chameleon

New member
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
4
Location
USA
#1
For years growing up, I never could figure out why I always felt so bad when the snow melted away and everything started to bloom. I never could put a finger on it, everyone else was always so excited. And because of that, I just never mentioned it. My father was a pastor of a church and I knew if I spoke to him he would just say it was the devil and I needed to pray about it, which was always his answer to everything I asked.

But, as an adult knocking on 50, I still feel the same way. I start a countdown on the first day of spring that goes until the official first day of fall. Now, I know many will say 'It's still hot' and all that, but when I see those leaves start turning, a mental and physical transformation happens. It seems like most of the depression starts to fade and because of that, I believe that things in my physical body get better. Not like healed of something, but more like, the massive headaches go away, I feel like I can breathe again and last but not least, I go out and get on the porch swing and just soak in that amazing fall smell.

A few years back, 4 to be exact, I had a series of heart attacks that ended with a quadruple bypass. This was bad enough, but after the surgery, when I would go out in the summer, physically I felt even worse. May have been because my surgery was now freaking my mind out.

To top everything off.... About 4 months ago, I started having seizures, at least 2 a night, I haven't missed a night since the first one. Well this very Monday after many MRIs and scans, turns out I have a tumor on my grain stem, which could explain a lot off issues. I have to go to a special treatment center for an extended stay while they make a game plan and then we get to work. Here's the funny part though. As soon as I got back in the car, the first thing I said was 'What a fine time to become horribly ill, right before summer, my nemesis. But then it hit me... 'This may work out, stay in a hospital all summer long, comeback when the leaves start to fall!'

Anyway, I began looking on the inet for my summer/fall-I-tiss (I know I butchered that haha) and found this Seasonal Effective disorder or whatever it was called and come to find out, I am not the only one. There are a few out there like me and dang it, I wanna go make some friends that share this with me.

So, here I am. Didn't mean to write so much, but I have been known to ramble on in these parts.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
2,876
Location
Milky Way
#2
I'm so sorry you have seasonal affective disorder and have fits, are you on medication for them? :hug:

My SAD can get bad in the winter, I can only imagine how it feels having the fits you have though :hug:
 
Chameleon

Chameleon

New member
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
4
Location
USA
#3
I just started medication for the seizures, but treatment on the tumor will begin soon. I am excited to get started and nervous about the process if that makes any sense haha.. Yeah most people/family/friends I have say that I have to be crazy to hate spring and summer so bad, but I just can't help it. I love the way Fall feels and smells, and because of the neuropathy, the winter feels great on my legs and feet hehe.. The only times I enjoy Spring or Summer is during big storms. I love sitting on my porch and watching it all unfold. Oddly enough, I feel safe and secure when it rains or storms, I feel like a shield is around me and nothing can get to me. Same goes for giant snow storms as well.. Okay, started to ramble again, sorry hehe.