enough is enough

A

Adam

New member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
1
Location
mansfield,ohio
#1
interesting how we all bleed the same,but don't care for others pains,how we all feel the same pain,but can't relate.

Too many bad memories and experiences in life is finally crashing in around me.I'm a strong minded person who doesn't need empathy/sympathy from noone,never have.My internal emotional wounds are so abd,deep and angry that literally have synced in with my physical body causing me health problems.

I can't understand how my life has been so bad from so many people time after time again and never ends.Am I cursed? I believe so.Maybe curses do exist and live off of certain people to the point that person will break down and kill themselves.I must be one of them.

My life has been so bad with experiences that all I think about is my future death.there isn't anything tasteful anymore: food,sex,sleeping,talking,movies,money,etc.It's all blank,blah,colorless things that mean nothing to me anymore.life and people have made in clear I don't belong ANYWHERE or everywhere I go.While I'm trying to figure them,this,out,at the same time my mind,heart body and soul just wants to give up entirely,for good.

I get the impression everyone has their breaking point.I think I met mine,maybe.I'm not expecting feedback or sympathy from anyone on here,but I'm sick and tired my life not getting any better,always worse.I don't have time for smiling,enjoying life,having fun,or being at peace.I'm too busy trying to deal with everyday hellish bs people throw at me,always giving me a hard time,it never ends.One problem after another.This isn't normal.Even god had a break on sunday,not for me though.

The thought of lying down peacefully,dying,being left alone soothes me.This life wasn't meant for me,the signs are everywhere,it's obvious.The bad memories are like demons: always pounding at me,tormenting me,never leaving me alone.This is real too people.it's an everyday bad mental experience only to encounter more to come.This isn't living,it's not normal,it's not healthy.

It's a sad thing to face when the only thing in my life to look forward to is death.....not marriage,making money,finding love.....just dying and finally being left alone.no more bad experiences.

Take my word on it,I'm better off.I don't have the guts to off myself.
 
M

mrgreute

New member
Joined
May 15, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Cavite
#2
I feel you. Everyday i thought of ending my life. The difference is that i have a daughter and now im having a second child. 14 weeks pregnant. But i want to end my.life
 
B

BrytonJade

New member
Joined
May 17, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Canada
#3
Hey. I'm with you, I feel the same way. My life has been fucked from as long as I can remember, and even treated as an outcast reject, not having any real friends, not fitting in where you want, or not fitting in where you feel like you fit in but you don't. I've grown accustomed to pushing people that are close, or get close, out of my life because I'm afraid they might push me away. I agree, it is a constant shit show and feels like it'll never end. I'm not gunna tell you "oh, chin up, it'll get better" or "think positive" because no one likes hearing that when you want to vent. It's fucking hard to vent to anyone without them telling you what you need to do. I get that a good diet and exercise helps with mental health but a lot of us don't have the money for a good diet or have the energy to work out. I for one, can't watch what I eat because I'm poor and like junk food. And this depression I feel makes me not give a fuck about exercise because I used to workout almost everyday and ran everyday but always felt the same as I did before working out.

What the fuck can you do when you feel this way? I'm still trynna figure this out.