- Apr 23, 2019
I feel like recently jealousy is eating me up, I hate my boyfriend doing anything without me, we have been together 5years. when he goes to work I will sit and cry, the thought of him being around other females at work drives me insane I find myself looking them up on social media every day and comparing myself to them which makes me feel shit because they’re all really pretty and probably much more fun and easier going than me. if he arranges to meet up with his friends every day in the lead up to it I will cry and self harm and just generally not be able to cope, even if he goes out with his mum I am jealous. I’m jealous of every person who is around him when I am not. We have children together so we don’t get a lot of alone time and I don’t ever go out with my friends because I hate being away from him. I don’t even like being in a different room to him when he is home when I am preparing dinner I will always ask him to keep me company and at night time even if I am tired I will not go to bed without him. He goes to the gym every day and I often convince myself he is going to fall in love with another girl in the gym who is more into fitness and has a nicer body than me, all of this said I have tried to leave him because I feel like this isn’t fair and it’s breaking my heart that he has to deal with me. I leave him and within hours I am begging him to come home. He tells me he loves me all the time and I don’t accept it I feel like he feels sorry for me and he’s just trying to make me feel better for the kids sake. Sometimes if he shouts and me or snaps at me I feel like I want to kill myself I feel worthless and unloved and like he doesn’t want me. I don’t know how to deal with this. I have suffered with this my whole life since I was a little girl and have a lot of previous suacide attempts, I hate my life so much but I feel trapped because of my children I don’t want to leave them without a mother but everything is just so hard to deal with right now. Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with jealousy? Or feeling worthless?