Boyfriend being horrible

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Nls90

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#1
Hi i recently posted about my boyfriend well now ex we had a falling out over a month ago i packed his bags and put him out he didnt want to come home but said a few months break will do us good! Well i seen him today he was so horrible to me slating my mental health name calling calling me fat useless waster and who would want me 😭 then he said it was over i did try and say it was finished over the weekend but he had none if it kept trying to sleep with me but after today i am done! We have two kids together anf i really dont want to see him anymore im broken after 10 and a half years this is how it ended..i just feel so down and pathectic just now
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#2
you are not pathetic ,NOBODY has the right to speak to you that way
I am so sorry he hurt you x
It must be really hard having children together because that means obviously you have to keep some level of contact with him

we are here to listen ,remember you are none of those mean things he called you x
you are special and valued and loved
love Lu x
 
N

Nls90

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#3
you are not pathetic ,NOBODY has the right to speak to you that way
I am so sorry he hurt you x
It must be really hard having children together because that means obviously you have to keep some level of contact with him

we are here to listen ,remember you are none of those mean things he called you x
you are special and valued and loved
love Lu x
Thank you ❤ im honestly such a mess at the minute i knew it was over way he was acting ingoring me then saying he loved and missed me but today just broke me i just cant grasp how someone who is ment to love you can say such nasty things esp to the mother of there kids.i just dont know what today he will come and try and say sorry i really dont want to see him i will need tp set up contact for the kids i have been struggling alot with my mental health i see my mental health team monday do i tell her?
 
Fairy Lucretia

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#4
I think you should tell your mental health team yes ,as they can guide you ,give you support and help you sort things out
we are here to listen and support too xx
 
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Lunar Lady

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#5
This man has some serious issues of his own. He's trying to damage your self esteem, make you feel worthless and dependent on his favour to feel happy.

I don't know anything about you my darling - but I can tell immediately that your mental health will be destroyed by him - he's likely a contributing factor as it is.

That was toxic behaviour and you didn't deserve it.

You are lovable and wonderful in your own right - and he's terrified you'll realise this and the door will shut permanently on him.

Talk this through with someone - or all of us here - but you are far better without him around you.

We're all here to support you :hug: xx
 
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Nls90

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#6
I think you should tell your mental health team yes ,as they can guide you ,give you support and help you sort things out
we are here to listen and support too xx
Thanks so much my confidence is broken trying to be strong for my kids i will tell her monday just going to tell her everything thanks again x
 
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Nls90

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#7
This man has some serious issues of his own. He's trying to damage your self esteem, make you feel worthless and dependent on his favour to feel happy.

I don't know anything about you my darling - but I can tell immediately that your mental health will be destroyed by him - he's likely a contributing factor as it is.

That was toxic behaviour and you didn't deserve it.

You are lovable and wonderful in your own right - and he's terrified you'll realise this and the door will shut permanently on him.

Talk this through with someone - or all of us here - but you are far better without him around you.

We're all here to support you :hug: xx
thanks you are right ❤ when i said it was over and ingored him for a few days he was phoning and texting me accusing me off all sorts i was willing to wait but after today it was the final straw im broken i have no confidence in mysel as it is just feel so worthless xx
 
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Nls90

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#8
I think the medication they have put me on is not really helping aswell so going to ask about that i just dont want to look like im not coping with the kids if anything they are keeping me going 😭
 
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Nls90

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#9
I am really struggling today i just dont know what to do my heart is broken and i cant forgive this i just dont know what to do 😭
 
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Kitty kat

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#10
Honestly for him to call you all those names, belittling you, you are better off without him
He has no right to talk to you like that
Be a strong woman move on with your life with your kids take care
 
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Nls90

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#11
Honestly for him to call you all those names, belittling you, you are better off without him
He has no right to talk to you like that
Be a strong woman move on with your life with your kids take care
Thank you ❤ yes i know there is noway back for us i really dont want to see him or contact him unless it is about our children i know i will get threw this and it will take time just my emotions are all over the place at the moment x
 
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Nls90

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#12
Hi has anyone any advice on how to deal with my emotions i have doctor tomorrow so hoping she can help i have not heard from him at all so im happy about that i just dont know what to say if he texts i was thinking off saying unless its about our children i have nothing to say to you is that ok?
 
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#13
Yes, that's absolutely fine - but you need a strategy for how he might react.

Will he turn up? Bombard you with texts? Keep phoning.

It's probably okay in his mind to give you ultimatums and control you - but any sign of you regaining emotional independence will be like a red rag to a bull.

If he senses you're low - he'll magically become the person that "understands you and can make you feel better". That will confuse you even more - because it seems as if he's being nice.

You need to think about how you'll deal with these situations and you need to be strong.

There is a cycle to emotional abuse - he'll shatter you into tiny pieces and then present himself as the person to glue you back together. Break and fix cycle.

Can you be strong if he's NICE to you? :hug:
 
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Nls90

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#14
Yes, that's absolutely fine - but you need a strategy for how he might react.

Will he turn up? Bombard you with texts? Keep phoning.

It's probably okay in his mind to give you ultimatums and control you - but any sign of you regaining emotional independence will be like a red rag to a bull.

If he senses you're low - he'll magically become the person that "understands you and can make you feel better". That will confuse you even more - because it seems as if he's being nice.

You need to think about how you'll deal with these situations and you need to be strong.

There is a cycle to emotional abuse - he'll shatter you into tiny pieces and then present himself as the person to glue you back together. Break and fix cycle.

Can you be strong if he's NICE to you? :hug:
Hi thank you for the advice 😁 he phoned yest asking to come up and see kids and mysel i told him no but he was more than welcome to take kids to his or out for abit i was suprised by my strengh tbh i got a few texts after saying he was sorry about way he spoke to be and asked if i was ok i just text him back saying unless it has anything to do with the kids i have nothing to say to him long make it continue 😁
 
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Lunar Lady

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#15
Well done :hug:

Now start to build up a support network around you so you're not dependent on him for the way you feel.

Talk to a good friend, parent - whoever will give you friendship and be there for you. xx
 
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Nls90

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#16
Well done :hug:

Now start to build up a support network around you so you're not dependent on him for the way you feel.

Talk to a good friend, parent - whoever will give you friendship and be there for you. xx
Thank you ❤ i have a good friend who i have been speaking to she has been a great help i know i can do this i will for my kids 😁 xx
 
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missme

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#17
I think the best thing I ever did was eliminating the negative people in my life, it's time for you to focus on your little family. You will get through this I know you will!
 
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Nls90

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#18
I think the best thing I ever did was eliminating the negative people in my life, it's time for you to focus on your little family. You will get through this I know you will!
Hi thank you ❤ i really hope i will its been weird without him but i will get there i think he knows its over and i wont take him back now he can say and try all the things he wants its to little to late 😁
 
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missme

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#19
Hi thank you ❤ i really hope i will its been weird without him but i will get there i think he knows its over and i wont take him back now he can say and try all the things he wants its to little to late 😁
Good on you! I've been there myself, but one thing different, I didn't have children at the time. I had to learn the hard way after all my physical and emotional abuse from them, I learnt to love myself and believed I could find someone that loves me, and I did as soon as I learnt to have standards and expect people to treat me with respect
 
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missme

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#20
Good on you! I've been there myself, but one thing different, I didn't have children at the time. I had to learn the hard way after all my physical and emotional abuse from them, I learnt to love myself and believed I could find someone that loves me, and I did as soon as I learnt to have standards and expect people to treat me with respect
I'm now married, 21 years and have seven beautiful children
 

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