aaanyone elses SZ diagnosis give them depression?

Parayana

Parayana

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#1
So I haave depression diagnosed as a result of being diagnosed with Schizophrenia, so one diagnosis gaave me another one. I hit a real low this morning, loads of suicide ideation.

I let rip at my Psychiatrists secretary and the CPN who does the clinic yesterday because I was so sick of the side effetcs of my meds, really wwanted to sit Zazen yesterday but my hands were shaking to much, couldn't even play on my Xbox becuase I couldn't even use a controller. I've got reaally bad akathisia as well alwys moving my arms and legs around, told them in no uncertain terms I would take 25mg of Risperdal Consta or the uivalent dose of Paliperidone and that I wasn't some weak willed numpty who they could bully into taking what they like. Bit worried they might support me in my PIP claim becuase the professionals tend to close ranks when you stand up to them, oh well done now. Then I went out and got steaming drunk which I'm beating myself up about today.

Everything felt so toxic earlier and I just wanted to do myself in. I sat down to meditate and (not literally) because i was thinking my about my past and what brought me to this point the Buddha said to me why are you holding on to all this toxic shit your sense of self is throwing at you and I just let go of the feeling and my mood lifted. So basically I'm ok again.

But i wanted to ask folkss what has your SZ (or anyother) diagnosis done to your state of mind.
 
claude

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#4
i really relate to your post parayana. I'm sorry you are going through this, it all sounds so shit.

I had a very severe depression after my sz diagnosis. It took me well over a year to begin to find my way out of it. I am not depressed anymore. I did have to take anti-depressants for a long time but I am off them now, getting off them was very difficult but i had bad side effects and I am glad to see the back of them. Are you on any anti-depressants as well as the anti-psychotic? They can help but i wouldn't recommend them blindly, personally i am better off without them but it varies. Do you have any control over the antipsychotic you take? I had bad side effects on rispiridone, really couldn't function. I am better on a middling dose of haloperidol. I do have a kemedrin prescription too for the akathisia but I don't always take it cause it makes my eyeshot blurry.

TBH i have been doing better since i stopped seeing the CMHT and just get my prescription from my gp and see a nurse every few months. The psychiatrist was a trigger for my paranoia and my depression. I am happier away from services, tho my gp wants me under a cmht - the cuts have given me freedom of sorts!
 
Parayana

Parayana

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#5
I get on really well with my Psychiatrist so he's not a problem for me Claude, my mood has lifted anyway, just chilling and doing Tibetan Shinay meditation, both Kemadrine (Procylodine) and Orphenadrine mitigate the side effects of the Flupentixol depot but not 100% some of the time I was really pissed off yessterday, I've decided I'll take the meds but under protest and I want a change next time I see the head shrinker!

Its jsut I'm nearly fifty, I've got a really high IQ and no cognitive impairment due to SZ that some people get and I spend most days plugged into video games and I don't see anyone except the staff in the corner shop most days, at least when I was an alcoholic to deal with my depression I had friends and a soical life. I'm prescribed Sertraline for depression but haven't taken them in years. I think todays depression has an element of boozers blues to it as well.

Thanks for the kind reply Claude that cheered me up as well. :)
 
Parayana

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#6
Just taken a Sertraline - it made me throw up, now I'm to bloody nauseus to play any games.
 
midnightphoenix

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#7
I don't have schitzophrenia or however you are even meant to spell it (i-t yes i know, ha ha funny), but the disagnosis that affects me is the eupd disagnosis.

emotional unstable personality disorder

they use it as a excuse for not doing anything to help so i basically gaveup trying for help
 
Parayana

Parayana

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#8
I had an ex-girlfriend with EUPD, she was lovely, kind, caring, pretty, sexy and funny she ot the shit end of the stick from services as well. I'd still be with her to this day if she hadn't drunk so much to deal with her unstable emotions and I wanted to sort my alchoholism out, I couldn't do it while I was with her. :(
 
claude

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#10
Hope you stop feeling sick soon Parayana! And i hope that you can find some way of getting a social outlet going without the drink. You are clearly very intelligent, i wonder if there is some project you can get involved in, or begin, that would provide focus and outlet.

Also good luck getting change from the big boss head shrinker :) I'm glad you don't have trouble with your psych at least! That is good :hug1:
 
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ramboghettouk

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#11
i got depressed when i was first diagnosed schitzo had shock treatment, then when i went through my better phase it ended with me harrassed by problem familys and been told i wasn't a priority, the cpn who'd closed my case said she had letters from 3 psychiatrists saying i wasn't schitzo, went through hell, now better is a dirty word with me, i'd rather be schitzoprenic, if i was rediagnosed i suspect employers wouldn't ignore my past and living on basic benefits is impossible long term
 
Parayana

Parayana

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#12
Well at least I have stopped throwing up! Just meditated and I am feeling well chilled.
 
Parayana

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#13
Just wanted to say thanks to Claude and Midnight Phoenix for caring enough to show there support in this thread.
 
claude

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#14
you seem like such a nice and wise person parayana! i hope you enjoy the rest of your day and things change for the better :)
 
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ramboghettouk

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#15
i was in a relationship and i might be imagining it but every time a story got into the news it caused stress to the relationship, breaks of contact etc

remember my gp saying to one of the other gps are you denying theres stigma attached to schitzoprenia, he's retired now
 
Mayflower7

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#16
Hi,
I suffered from depression and anxiety prior to my diagnosis, however getting diagnosed made it worse.
I'm sorry to hear how you've struggled, hope you have lots of support.
Take care
 
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ramboghettouk

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#18
acccording to the national schitziprenia fellowship now rethink 50% of schitzoprenics kill themselves by 40, if thats a measure of depression, i guess thats why gps felt entitled to lie through they're teeth, and build up my hopes at that age, it is hard at my age to come to terms

one friend said what they mean is 50% of schitzoprenics who are members of the nsf kill themselves
 
Parayana

Parayana

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#19
You helped a lot Phoenix. :) .I am still close frriends with one of my ex-gfs and I am spending the easter weekend with her, she picked me up this afternoon.

Mayflower I don't really have a lot of support in the community, just a couple of exes I am still close to, my old boozing mates are useless in that respect. I used to have a support worker but lost him due to cutbacks.

My mood has picked up no end since this morning, strange thing is I have been awake for over 36 hours now with nothing stronger than a few cups of coffee inside me and I don't feel the slightest bit tired. Oh well I will play some games on my exes Xbox